she whom i follow in my dreams

in my dreams,
we kissed atop a mountain
-right on cue-
waiting until the sun had been
swallowed by dusk,
scared of being caught
amidst our cherished moment
(not right for a third person to see)

in my dreams,
we heard wolves cheering us on,
howling in ovation
they gave their blessing
by singing us a song
(fondling is sweeter when accompanied by music)

in my dreams,
we learned how to caress
by watching the summer breeze make love to the flowers
they mingled,
we followed
yearning to dance freely
like the wispy dandelions

in my dreams,
we watched the clouds flock and migrate
with utmost assurance of where they were going
making proud strides
towards the future
(we wished we could do the same)

in my dreams,
we gave birth to promises
raised them
nourished them
spoiled them

with every intention to keep them pure and virtuous,
but before we knew it-
(to our horror)

they had rebelled against our wishes
and grown up to become lies
without our permission or consent.

so,
we mourned their innocence
and cremated the mirage
of our unchanging adoration
(you scattered the ashes, but i saved them in my pocket)

only in my dreams-
only in that realm,
would we ever dare to love so profusely

in this realm,
we fear
a tragic impermanence
more than we can envision
a profound love
(for she is above us and all our mere capabilities)

love:
is the deity whom i worship.
in my dreams,
she is a healer, a protector
-pray.
-offer.
(i dedicate merit in her name)

love:
is the demon whom i dread.
in my nightmares,
she is a wrathful beast, a conqueror
-chant.
-sacrifice.
(even a phurba dagger cannot dispel of her)

but i am only brave enough
to be her devout follower
in my dreams

Posted on Posted on ; updated 1 September 2020

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